Wednesday, August 14, 2013

Girl's Camp: The week I realized that I am mentally unbalanced.

 Warning: This is going to be a long post about me going to Girls Camp. Which is boring.But don't worry, I'll mostly be talking about my self. Which is awesome.

 Last month, I was tricked into volunteering to spend a week cooking meals for our church's girls camp. Camping. Three meals. 180 people. Volunteer, no compensation. That's right. Tricked. I spent lots of time complaining during the weeks leading up to it. I have become a master at getting all the credit for doing something good with the maximum amount of complaining. Here's the secret. You complain just enough so that everyone knows exactly how much work you are doing, but not so much that it starts to bug people. Although looking back, for camp, I may have gone overboard on the complaining side. 

  When I was growing up, I always thought I would be great at working with the youth. I thought I'd be the hip young cool leader that all the girls wanted to emulate. It was 7 years ago when I was first asked to volunteer with the youth,working with girls ages 12-18. Shockingly, I was not great at it. I wasn't even good. I tried to be funny, I tried to buddy up, I tried to gently tease. And it pretty much looked like this;

 The only joy I found was the weekly opportunity to feed lots to sugar to the girls with legitimate ADHD who's parents had sanctimoniously made it very clear that they had cured any attention or behavior problems by adhering to a strict diet. Not on my watch lae-dez.

  Needless to say, I was released from that calling and haven't been asked to help with the youth since. Until last month, when they were scraping the bottom the barrel.

 So I went. And after a few weeks of planning, complaining, pre-cooking, preparing, and more complaining. Camp had arrived. Did I mention that I have hated camping since I saw the Blair Witch Project? That is not a joke, it is probably the most true sentence I have ever typed. So I had made up my mind that I was going to have a crappy crappy time. Now here is the part when I talk about why I think I have a chemical imbalance, or a hormonal one. These were the bad parts of camp:

Camping on the East Coast
Being publicly shamed for wearing immodest clothing (I'm talking about me being shamed, I didn't get the memo about no workout clothes)
Sneaking out for a bike ride and almost dying (that will have to be another post)
15 hours a day on my feet.
It rained for 20 hours and all my stuff got wet.
No Sleep
I'm a feminist (so I HATE that we have to camp while our male counterparts go scuba diving in the Florida Keys)

I decided weeks before camp that I was going to have a terrible time. And usually when I make up my mind about something, It happens. But something happened to me in Boyce VA. Someone snuck inside my motherboard, and flipped the switch from weird Andy Kaufman elitist, to normal happy Mormon. And I had-- wait for it-- the best time. It was one of the most amazing weeks of my life. I had plenty of energy. I worked hard, and liked it. I made new friends. I LOVED being around the girls. I was happy and cheerful and friendly. It was amazing.

  But, my youth relations skills were rusty and I was over eager and it showed. Consequently I ended up behaving like Bill Murray.

And I know that Bill Murray is weird, but I've come a long way. And I'd say that I'm about halfway to the goal of being JUST like Regina's mom. My idol.

I can't wait until next year.


Jennifer McArthur said...

Let me guess . . . a boob job is the other half?

alexandra said...

Hilarious! I bet you were great with the youth years ago and awesome last week. I very much related to this post, though. I used to think I would do well in a YW calling but when I had one (6 years ago) I was so awkward and we were all relieved that I soon moved away. I would have been really excited to volunteer at girls camp, though, because it would mean I would not be responsible for my children. That sounds kind of awful but I really mean it.

I loved the movie clips your brain came up with to describe yourself. So so hilarious.

susan said...

Yes, when will the boob job occur to make the transformation to Regina George's mom complete?

Carrie said...

I tried to comment on this when you published way back when but computer glitched and bam, no comment. And then I forgot about it of course.

But, I loved this entry Ang! Made my day reading it. It was laughing so much and just love your sense of humor (shines through in all your posts actually). FYI I would have totally snuck away for a bike ride with you!! And what are you supposed to wear at girls' camp? Real clothes? I am usually in sweats or yoga pants while getting filthy in the woods. Glad you captured all of this here--too fun :)