Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Ezra Bud

   This post is not about whether or not Ezra is a wild boy. It's not about whether he needs better parenting. I know that he is wild and that he needs better parenting. I know that  boundaries and using a little discipline and follow through principles at home would go a long way to change his behavior and make my life easier. But he's my 5th and I am exhausted. And however much you judge me by Ezra's naughtiness, I guarantee you that I've judged ten times harsher. I spent my early mothering era as the queen of judgement. I knew exactly what everyone was doing wrong and how to fix it. And it has taken years and years of crying, and trips to the hospital (ER trips as well as actually having to make an appointment and have a child admitted which is much worse than the ER) and, vomit, and  diagnoses, and walks of shame, and cleaning up poop, and IEPs, (and did I mention the crying?) for me to realize that all of us parents are doing the best we can. And each of us go to bed at night feeling guilty so we should cut each other a break. I guess I'm just saying that you should cut me a break. 
  The above pictures are from Ezra's preschool nativity program when he decided to step three feet in front of all the other kids, sing in a devil voice and then shake his head back and forth so violently that he got dizzy and fell. It was amazing. Here are a few other facts about Ezra. 

1.His hair is a major point of contention in our marriage. I want it short but Pete likes it long. Sometimes when he goes to work I give it little trim. When I cut it too short Pete notices and gets mad. As a result when you see Ezra he will either look like a girl, or like that villain that Javier Bardem played in No Country For Old Men. 

2. A few months ago I went to Chick-Fil-A with a friend. I sent the kids into the play area alone to play while I chatted with my friend. Note: this might be a common occurrence in Utah, but on the East Coast, the children are supervised much more closely. This is probably because the mothers here love their children more and have no friends. See? There I go with the judgement. Anyway, I went in to round up my kids and there was a mom with an 8 year old child waiting for me. "Excuse me, I just wanted to let you know that your son hit my son every time he tried to go down the slide." So I went through  the motions of apologizing profusely and talking to Ezra about appropriate behavior, all for the benefit of the mom. When she was satisfied that my 2 year old had been sufficiently lectured for hitting a child twice his size, she left me be. 

3. A few weeks ago, Pete and I took the kids to Chick-fil-A again. And once again, I let them play unsupervised while we chatted. We didn't so much chat, it was more like bickering about Ezra's hair. The conversation ended with me telling Pete that if he wanted to be in charge of hair, he could, but Ezra looked like a girl and really really needed a haircut. Peter, defeated and annoyed with me, stomped off into the play area to retrieve the boys and take them to the barber. When he walked in and called Ezra, he was greeted just as I had been a few months earlier, by a mother standing with a 8 or 9 year old son who had received the wrath of Ezra. I don't exactly know what the exchange was between Peter and this poor mother, but let's just say that I think Peter would have made Larry David very very very proud. 

4. About an hour later, my Pete texts me from the barber, "
         These people here are all Viet. I'm going to listen and see if they talk about me. 
The big payoff for me came when Pete listened to the barber girls talking amongst themselves, "Look at this boy with the girl haircut, why would his parents want him to look like a girl?" It was really too bad for those unsuspecting Vietnamese barber girls. Because little did they know that if Larry David and Alec Baldwin had a love child, it would be a Vietnamese speaking Peter. 


camilla said...

Remember the time we went to Chick-fil-a and I looked in the play area and he was jumping side to side like a boxer fighting a group of kids, it looked like a seen from fight club. And I can totally picture Peter having a Larry David moment, that mom messed with the wrong dad. I think it is good to have a kid who can hold his own, I'm judging you.

Alicia said...

All I can say is more blogposts please. I love your wit

Nicole said...

LOVE this.