Thursday, November 8, 2012

Thoughts on stuff- aka a love to letter to Emily B-M

I mean it this time, I'm going to start blogging again. I was going to start it for realsies. But then I went on this awesome trip to New York with my good friend Emily. It was sort of a last hurrah before she moved away from me and broke my heart. We had a blast. It was epic. Imagine Liz Lemon and Whitney Port being best friends and hanging out in New York together, and that's how it was. Only we are much cooler then Liz and Whitney and have 8 kids between the two of us. Emily humored me while I drug her to a bunch of food places that are on my list. And then I tried to act cool while we did hip things like walk the High Line and did a bit of ultra chic clothes shopping. When she passionately expressed her thoughts on the long term repercussions of what she referred to as disposable clothing, I nodded pensively like I think about that stuff all the time.  It was pretty awesome when we went to the City Bakery for a pretzel croissant (thanks for the rec Janelle) and guess who sat next to us? John Liguizamo. You know what I did? Ignored him, like it was no big deal, 'cause I'm cool like that. Well, I may have told a story in an extra loud voice that I think would make a great movie, but that's beside the point.
 Anyway, here's what I'm getting at. When Emily left, I was forced to do some real soul searching. Emily and I have been friends for our entire adult lives, and we have lived near each other for the last 5 years. She is great company and she makes me feel like I am great company too. But when she left, here's what I realized. I'm not really good company. Let me rephrase that, I'm not good company. This was a huge introspective realization for me. My entire life I've been under the false impression that I was a total blast to be around. It turns out, I've just surrounded myself with nice people. I'm not that friendly, not really chatty, not particularly smart, I'm catty, overly sensitive and judgmental.  I can't believe I'm in my 30's and it's taken me this long to get it. But I finally do get it. I have myself figured out. I am an introvert with a very very high self esteem. And so it is with this understanding that I will pick up blogging again. 

p.s. The City Bakery croissants are not as good as mine.

2 comments:

Emily said...

Although I'm laughing (John/the movie) and crying (because I miss you way too much)...I do take issue with your adult realization. Real issue. And the next time I see you, I'll be happy to knock some sense into you:)

Talai said...

I had to look up who John Liguizamo was and I still don't really know who he is, so I guess I would have ignored him too. And, I just want you to know I think you are friendly, smart, really funny, and I love being around you. In fact, I wish it happened more often.