Thursday, May 24, 2012

I'm a Liz Lemon Eater.

  This week had a couple of parenting highs, accompanied with a culinary low. I was pretty excited to see the rain on Monday because that meant that I had an excuse to wear my new rain boots. I spent too much on them which probably explains why it has been such a mild spring. Anyway, I wore them all day even though it only rained in the morning. Monday afternoon as I was getting the kids in the car to take Jonah to scouts, I heard his friend whisper, "Why is your mom wearing those boots? It's not even raining" Jonah snapped, "Well it was raining this morning and anyway, it doesn't matter, it's a fashion thing." 

   One of my proudest moments. He's my favorite.

  It happened again the next day when I let two kids take the rest of the school day off after a rough afternoon dentist appointment. I told them they could relax and watch TV when my toothless tween whined, "That doethen't even thound fun and ith your fault, ever thince you thtopped letting uth watch TV and made uth thtart reading bookth, becauth now TV ith tho boring!" And she stomped off to her room. Yesssss.

   I felt like such a great mom that I got a sitter for the following day so that I could meet a friend for lunch. She chose Sunflower. The vegetarian place. Sure, I'll eat anything. 

This was the crowd.

And the decor. What what was the name of the restaurant again? 
Oh yeah.
  It took me a while to figure out what I was going to order. It was hard to choose from the items on the menu.

  • General Tso's Surprise
  • Macrobiotic Root Vegetables and Greens
  • Orange Imagination
  • Adventure of Tempeh Land
  • Wheat Gluten with Fermented Black Bean Sauce
  • Curry Paradise

 Really? I mean, I had to double check to make sure it was actually a menu I was reading. I swear I've eaten veg before but I've never heard of any of this. I almost ordered General Tso's Surprise but I remembered from an experience at South of the Border S.C. that you never order any kind of food with the word surprise in the title. (Don't use the public restrooms there either.) But I felt sort of rushed so I just hurried and ordered the Curry Paradise.

  Okay, now, I don't want to brag, but I'm not ignorant when it comes to food. I've had good food. I know what it tastes like. And I've had healthy food, I know what that should taste like too. Wait, back that up, it doesn't matter whether or not I know what good or healthy food is supposed to taste like. I know what food is supposed to taste like. It's not this. The vegetables were fine. Good even. The sauce would have been decent if it would have been made with non-vegan products. But the "meat," oh the "meat." It was actually soy protein. If I wanted to eat something that tastes like this, I would just drive downtown to K street and eat a piece of grass that the Occupy DC folks have been sleeping on. At least then I'd have a story to tell.  

P.S. I ate all of it. 

1 comment:

Sarah d' said...

You take a hot dog. Stuff it with some jack cheese. Fold it in a pizza. You've got Cheesy Blasters. And then, all the kids say, ''Thanks, Meat Cat!''