Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Happy New Year.

This is a true story that happened on this day in 2000.

My sophomore year in college there was this guy in my ward named Steve. He was a nice guy. One day I noticed that in the place where his left ear should be, there was only a little flap of skin, like just a lobe, not an ear. Of course I never mentioned it, because I'm a nice girl. But on January 4th when everyone was coming back to school after the break I saw him and said hi. He was all excited and said, "Do you notice anything different about me?" Right away I looked at his ear and noticed that instead of just a lobe, there was a real ear. But then it was weird, I was afraid that if I said, "Hey you have an ear!" He would feel bad, like I define him by his lobe or something, so I just asked him if he'd had a haircut. "Yeah I got a haircut!" he said, "Because I don't need to hide my ear behind my hair anymore, I had a surgery over the break and I got a new ear!" "Oh, wow, hey it looks nice." Well since he brought up the ear, I thought it was okay to lighten things up a bit and without thinking I said, "Hey it looks great! I guess I should wish you a 'Happy New Ear!"

Crickets.

Then came the part when I had to explain my joke. And you know how when you explain a joke it isn't really funny any more? Well, this was not the case. This was one of those jokes, that was sort of clever, but when you have to explain it, it becomes hilarious. 

Steve married a girl named Lisa. And I couldn't help but call her Lisa Lobe. 

Get it? 

Lobe? 

Like an ear lobe? 

You know, and the singer?

Ah forget it. 

Happy New Ear To All.