Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Harie Pottah

A few weeks ago when  a friend sent out a mass email saying that she was getting a group together for the midnight showing of Harry Potter, I immediately responded, "I'm in!" Now there are about a hundred things wrong with this. In my defense, I've just been through a stressful move and humidity can make people do crazy things. Still, I only have my self to blame. We got to the theater around 10 and it was a zoo. And when I say zoo I don't mean crowded, when I say zoo I mean I'm not sure every ticket holder was 100% human. This is the most mild slyphone shot I took.

  This is a real conversation that I had inside my head at the moment this picture was taken. 
            "Look at these dudes. What loosers, I mean who dresses up like this to go to a movie? They look ridiculous. Who are they supposed to be? Wait. I have no idea who they are supposed to be. What am I doing here? I am at a movie theater at midnight waiting with people to see the final Harry Potter movie and I've never even read any of the books. Have I even seen all the movies? I don't think so. I mean at least these people are excited about something they're into. I can't think of any reason that I should be here. You know what? I think the real looser is me." 

 I would say that 85% of the people were dressed up.
 Our movie started at 12:15 and the sold out shows ran every 15 minutes for like 24 hours or something.
The girls behind me cried 5 times.

  But you know what? None of that stuff is even half as weird as the fact that I went to a midnight showing of Harry Potter and I've never read a single book.  Seriously, that is so not normal. I didn't realize how silly it was until I got there, and then I felt totally dumb. There was a girl with her hair sprayed totally white carrying around a broom------and I felt dumb. There was a guy there driving a motorized scooter wearing a t-shirt that said, "muggles suck"---------- and I felt dumb. We saw a car in the parking lot whose license plate said, "slitherin,"-------and I felt dumb. Another guy had a lightening bolt on his forehead and was chanting "griff-en-dor!"------ and I felt dumb. There was a girl with too much black eyeliner wearing gold hot pants---------and I felt dumb. When we saw hot pants girl, Susan leaned over to me and said, "Who is that girl supposed to be? Uh I don't think there's anyone wearing gold hot pants in Harry Potter." And I just laughed like I knew what she was talking about, I would never have known whether or not that girl was dressed up like a HP character.
    There was a lot of me laughing at things I didn't understand that night. When vendors came into the theater selling butterbeer, I thought it was something random the movie theater had made up to appease the underage crowd. Susan told me a story about an old roomie of hers who fashioned a snitch out of a tennis ball and carried it around. I laughed like I knew what she was talking about. At one point, I made some joke about Hermione having messy hair and I almost outed myself. I really felt dumb then. The only joke I understood the entire night was when the girl next to me said, "We should have worn our 'team Jacob and team Edward' shirts." I got that.
   The movie started and I may as well have been in a different language. I had no idea what was going on. It was all blacks and whites and stream of consciousness and people looking for things I didn't understand. I was actually asleep for the middle 90 minutes of the movie. I still am not really sure who was alive and who had died when the movie ended. I felt so dumb.
   The worst part was during the 3AM drive home with Susan.  She is smarter than me to begin with. I'm already always working hard to keep up with her. She was totally excited about the movie and naturally wanted to talk about it. I couldn't respond to a single one of her statements. After a few minutes she asked, "Did you read the books?"


Dumb dumb dumb. Not even smart enough to lie about it. The ride home got a lot quieter after that.


Sara said...

Dont worry your not a loser, I have read the books and yes I went to see the midnight showing. But I went in a T-shirt and shorts with some friends who had no idea what was going on and we laughed at those weird people who had elaborate costumes on. So trust me you were probably one of the more sane people there :)

susan said...

Haha! You totally fooled me! I thought you know what I was talking about the whole time. That is hilarious. No worries, I don't think less of you for not reading the books. Someday we should go to Harry Potter World in Orlando together and we can see the real crazies.

camilla said...

Harry Pooder

alexandra said...

Oh, Angela. I feel for you! But I have to say that the video was HYSTERICAL! My kids and I all just watched it twice, and they were explaining all of the corresponding details to me from the books, even though I've read all of the books more than any of them. Due to the fact that I wouldn't let any of them read from the fourth book and on by themselves, I usually am reading to two or three kids every night, usually from different books. At one point during the last school year, I was reading books 1, 3, and 5 every night to three different kids. Oi!

So my short answer to you is, start reading the first book with your munchkins. You should get through the entire series in a few years. Of course, by then everything will have died down and it won't really matter, but it's a good series.

sara said...

You are so awesome; I just read this one out loud to Aaron. Hilarious!