Friday, May 27, 2011

Don't Judge a Book by it's Shirtlessness


Fedora, swimsuit, fish tank, 80's rug, gnomes.

I'm getting ready to teach a class in the morning. I did a search of hamstring exercises.


The weird thing is is that this guy totally knows his stuff. But what is his story?

Thursday, May 26, 2011

Peter and Camilla

This is going to have to be short. We bought a hybrid today and I feel like a little piece of me died.

Peter
  I can't explain this on the internet, but the next time you see Pete or I, ask about the Dianne Keaton story.

Camilla
 Has two deformed fingers. Well technically it's just the fingernails but a deformity nonetheless. Does that creep you out Jordan? 

Side note: Camilla and Peter love each other but aren't exactly best friends. This one time Camilla was about 15 and she was singing a little song to herself. Peter overheard and made a little joke about her voice, in response to which Camilla screamed, "I HOPE YOU EAT POISON AND DIE!" before running to her room and slamming the door.

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Camilla and Peter

First Camilla.

 There's not really an easy way to explain this but I'll try. Camilla does a talking mime routine. Bet you've never seen those two words together right? We all think it's hilarious. The routine is the same every time. Mime Camilla places her open palms against an imaginary wall in front of her and says, "I'm stuck." Next thing you know, something imaginary hits her on the head and she says, "Look! A rope." The routine goes from there and lasts any where from 2-25 minutes. Oh, you know how like 30 seconds ago I said "We all think it's hilarious?" Well by 'we all' I mean only the people in my immediate family. When I was younger, sometimes we'd have company over and someone would say, "Hey do you want to see Camilla's mime routine? She's really good" Our guest would reluctantly say, "sure" and  is noticeably confused as to why we are all trying to stifle our giggles. Camilla would begin the routine, which, like I said, is always the same. The guest always tries to be polite and pretend that they think Camilla is talented.  Then, at a carefully timed point during the routine my dad would always say, "Camilla the only thing people hate more than a mime it a talking one." And we all burst out laughing. Everyone except the guest, who laughs politely but never does get it. 

Now Peter,
  
   Peter is a great swimmer. Like amazing. He grew up swimming in the ocean in Oregon so he's tough. When he competes in triathlons, he beats half the elites out of the water without even training, so he's fast too. 

(A good wife would leave it at that. )

  But the first time I ever saw him in the water this is what happened. We were on our honeymoon in Saint. Maarten and we decided to go play in the Ocean. We were about chest deep and jumping in the waves when Pete decides to show off and body surf. He jumps with this wave that slams him right into the sand bar. It was kind of funny and not really a big deal, or so I thought. Pete stood right up and grabbed his elbow. I walked over and said, "Pete are you okay?" He didn't answer so I asked him again, to which he responds in this barely audible voice, "Don't talk to me." I tried to get closer to, you know comfort him and he whispers, "Don't touch me." So I gave him some space. He just drifted in the ocean holding his elbow with his eyes half open for like 45 minutes. After that he was fine. Now there are a lot of things that you can tease Peter about. Like a lot of things. Bike crashes, food poisoning, his hernia, old girlfriends, the list is long. But if I try to tease Peter about this particular ocean accident, he'll just defensively say, "I know you don't believe me, but I totally messed up my elbow that day and sometimes it still hurts really bad okay?"

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Camilla and Peter

Camilla is my sister and Peter is my husband. Pete and I got married on Camilla's birthday and she's never forgiven us. The big day is coming up on June 1st, so to celebrate, I thought I'd alternate posting little known facts about these two great people. 

Peter's first. 

Until about a year ago, Peter thought that when baked potatoes were served at dinner, one was supposed to ask the cook if the potatoes had been washed. Do you know how often people serve baked potatoes when they invite us over for dinner? A lot. It's totally embarrassing when Peter looks over the potato and says, "Did you wash these?" He's never noticed the insulted look on the hostess' face.  

Now Camilla. 

Once Camilla got my hair tangled up in a Tornado Tumbler. Tangled bad. On purpose. Have you ever heard of  Tornado Tumbler? It's a cup with a little battery operated whisk at the bottom that mixes up drinks like chocolate milk so you don't have to go to the trouble of getting a spoon out of the drawer. Awesomely, we were both in our twenties when this happened.

Thursday, May 5, 2011

This One's For the Rams

This post will make no sense if you and I didn't go to high school together. 

I am still laughing about the fact the one of my FB friends from Highland, Anela Noriega, just posted:

"Who'd going to step up and do Bin Laden's temple work?"

It's the awesomest post I've read since Pete posted that his favorite rapper is the B52's