I watched the A&E show Hoarders for the first time last night. The show featured a girl I knew in high school who has become a hoarder. When I first heard she was going to be on the show, I was excited in a voyeuristic way to see someone I knew on reality TV. But you know? I learned a valuable lesson. I don't really want to watch a reality TV show about trash bags being taken out of a house. I prefer the reality shows that film trash bags that fight, lie, drink too much, speak with Jersey accents, pass out roses, wear bikinis, and do stupid things in hot tubs. Oh and the trash bags that wear giant clocks around their necks? I miss that guy.
So this show Hoarders, it was sad and I don't think I'll watch it again. But have you ever been on the receiving end of a hoarder? I have. And let me tell you, if you are a poor student, it can be awesome. I had a close family member who was a hoarder and had a very real QVC (home shopping network) addiction. Her hoarding basically furnished our entire apartment. But even after we took all that stuff, there still was no room for us to sleep in her five bedroom house. Every time I helped her clean out her place, I discovered something totally great. One time I found a shelf full of purses. I kept two Dooney and Bourke bags for myself and donated the rest. Then I opened her opened her night stand drawer and found that it was stuffed to the brim with bra extenders-- you know, pieces of fabric for women who are too big to fit any bra. This other time I was seriously cleaning and I opened a dresser drawer and found 37 pairs of navy capris. When I thought she wasn't looking, I threw them out. But I guess she did see though because every single time I saw her for the next nine years, she would glare at me and say, "I still can't find any of my navy capris." I could go on and on but I'm guessing that the stuff I found is only fascinating to me. I had forgotten about our family's hoarder until the other day when I was going through some old pictures and I found something small I took from her house. It's not much, but I couldn't bring myself to throw it out.
Let's all say it together out loud, "What the.. huh?"
Of course the person that invented the patent pending 'booby bibs' would be named Liz McGee.