Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Valentine's Day

I was going through my kindergartner's folder this morning. I always forget to go through it so I get things way late. Today I found a Valentines Card that he must have done during computer time last month.

Behold, the worst Valentine's Day card I've ever received.

The caption inside the card says,

"There are 365 days in a year. I hope you'll pencil me in for one of them."

Really Jonah? What's the matter with you? (If I had a dollar for every time I said that.) I don't get it. And what sort of card making software do they have in that kindergarten classroom.

Speaking of terrible Valentine's Days (relax Pete, I'm leaving you out of this) Did you see that movie? Sooooo awesomely bad that I want to see it again. I think it might have been the worst movie I've seen in the theater, and I've seen Dude Where's My Car, Stepmom, Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey, let's see what else? Oh wait I saw Breaking The Waves in a theater when I was a teenager and that was more miserable than Valentine's Day. But that's only because I was sitting in between my parents and the film had about 8 scenes of people doin' it--indie film style.

The movie was so bad because it was full of non-surprise surprises meant for a stupid LA audience. If you think Ashton Kutcher can act but aren't sure, put him in a light pink shirt and give him lines like, "Love is the only shocking act left on the planet." Man that is so deep. And Taylor Swift. She had a role in the film. Why? I think she wrote the script. And there's no way in hell the Jessica Beal character would be single. And Julia Robert's role was the biggest non-shocker of all. I could go on forever. I mean, there aren't enough bad things to say about the movie. Rotten Tomatoes gave it a whopping 18%. I would compare it to Love Actually but I think that might actually make Hugh Grant's head explode. Instead I'll say it's a lot like He's Just Not That Into You. Only it should be called, He's Just Not That Into You, Or You, And Especially Not You, But Shockingly You, Yeah You Right There.

2 comments:

harts15 said...

Oh sorry, but that was really cute.

Nathan & Michelle Watabe said...

Hey, I liked Stepmom. I still think you're hilarious, though.