Friday, November 20, 2009

11-17-09 Some Goodbyes and Some Hellos

Have you ever wondered what a hermit crab looks like when it's all the way out of its shell? We found out earlier this week. I looked in the cage that morning and saw that our pet 'Samantha' had escaped, for the fourth time since we've owned her.

That evening during dinner. I started having contractions. Bad ones.

While we were cleaning up after dinner Peter found the hermit crab.

When he turned on the garbage disposal.

Warning: graphic picture.

I grabbed my iphone in between contractions and took a picture and I'm glad I did because I was in way too much pain to feel anything else.

I guess I forgot to mention to Peter that I was feeling uncomfortable because he thought it would be a good idea to have a little family memorial service around the garbage can. He asked Eliza to say a few words. He gave a little talk about life after death for animals. It was all very sweet. He was half way through his Amazing Grace solo when I spoiled the mood by yelling, "I'm gonna kill you you jerk!" I guess that meant it was time to go to the hospital.

Friday, November 13, 2009

Did that just happen?

I've been asking myself that question a lot lately. I asked myself if 'that really just happened' the other day at the O.B. I was lying on the cold table and the doctor came really close and said that he wanted to tell me two stories. He spent about 20 minutes telling me one story about asking Dean Smith's then fiance on a date and another story about the movie Space Jam. Then he checked to see if I was dilated.

And this morning. Did I really just get in a fight with the elementary school art teacher? About art? He doesn't think some of my kids are trying hard enough. He thinks that they are doing bad art work. He approached me as I was dropping my kids off at school and wanted me to come into his classroom and see what he meant. Lucky for him I couldn't get out of the car because I wasn't dressed, and I think that I am in labor right now, and his nose was really runny and I have a bit of an aversion to bodily fluids and the smell of scalp in my delicate state so I had to get home quick. But I am going to have to revisit this issue again in a few weeks.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

That's What I Get

I arrived with dinner at the home of a family in need 20 minutes after I said I would . When I rang the doorbell, no one answered. I looked through the window and saw a spotless empty house. Right away with my flawed and judgemental thinking, I began to see this scenario in my head of what had happened. The careless husband finds himself home with 4 kids and his wife away. When dinner doesn't arrive right when it's supposed to, he takes the kids our for burgers. Meanwhile, I am two weeks from my due date. My husband is out of town, and I have 5 hungry kids in the car.

Not sure what to do, I take my food back to the car, nearly tripping over a foiled plate of brownies that someone has already left on the steps. I got back in the car and stopped at this family's neighbor's house that I knew to see if they had a cell number or something. I knocked on the door and felt even more mad about having to bug another family. This mom of seven looked frazzled but happily gave me a spare key to their house and told me just to put the food inside. "Oh, and I left some treats on their doorstep, would you put those in the house too?"
So that's where the brownies for this 'needy family' came from. Sheesh. I go back to the house, let my self in and put the food on the counter. At this point I'm starving and already grumpy so I steal a brownie from the plate of treats that the neighbor left. None will be the wiser-- that's what I always say. Besides, I so deserve this. I eat the brownie as fast as I can and head to the car.

As I stop back by the neighbor's house to return the spare key, she is waiting outside for me so I gulp the last mouthful of brownie down and give her a big smile. She smiles back and hands me two huge plates of goodies to bring home and enjoy. I give her the spare key and we chit chat for a few minutes before I head home.
I'm only home about 5 minutes before I realize what a jerk my brain is. There is a message on my answering machine from the husband. He apologetically explains that he is stuck in traffic, the baby is sick, and he is frantically trying to track down my cell but can't find it and feels terrible. Seriously, how lame am I? I head to the bathroom and as I look in the mirror, I see karma all over my face and teeth. In the form of brownie crumbs.

There are only two people who know how lame I am; myself, and the neighbor lady who I'm pretty sure knows that I stole one of the brownies. Believe me it was pretty obvious. Oh, and Peter knows how lame I am too but he's stuckity stuck stuck.