"Why have you gained so much weight? Why was your last baby so big? Did you eat more sugar then? Are you eating more sugar now?"
She was not impressed by the fact that I am still teaching at the gym, not even when I flexed and kissed my bicep for her. Most people like that, but I guess if OBs were interested in awesome biceps, they would be like arm doctors or something. Instead she told me that I was probably diabetic and going to have to cut out all sugar or else I was doomed to give birth to a 9 pounder. The whole time she lectured slash yelled at me, I just stared at the ground like a 5 year old who has just shattered a flat screen (and believe me, I know what that looks like.)
So I walked to my car and drove home, feeling like a fatty. When I got home, my legs had sweated themselves stuck to the leather seats because I was wearing a skirt and I had to peel them off the seat and it hurt and I thought to myself, "This must be how fat people feel when they get out of cars every day." And I burst into tears. I ran inside and canceled my DVR set to record DYAO and the Fatchelor (aka More to Love) because the fact that those shows are on TV mean that it is now OK to make fun of fat people (or as they call themselves "real people")
After I took care of my TV business, I went to check on my kids (yes I have my priorities in order) and I heard them yelling, "I hate you!" and "You are stupid." When I went in to stop that kind of talk, they saw the look on my face and were quick to inform me that it was opposite day. "
"OOOHHH opposite day. Carry on children." to which Jonah replied, "Mom you are sooo not fat."
And there you have it. Day number two.