Friday, July 31, 2009

Can I get an Amen!?!

When I was little, I had this friend named Wizzy. No, I didn't have a speech impediment, it really was/is Wizzy-- check my FB friends and see for yourself. Anyway, she always used to brag about going to VBS in the summer. She told me that VBS stood for Vacation Bible School which seemed strange and foreign to me because I know ALL about the Bible but had never heard those three words together. Ever. But she was like the only Baptist on the planet soo I just sort of wrote it off. Did I mention that I grew up on a planet named Bountiful UT?

Fast forward 20+ years to the end of the swim team season and this teenage swim coach gives me a flyer for her Backyard Bible Club/VBS and invites my kids to come.

Notable details of the club: *Every day for a week.
*I drop my kids off for hours.

Um, yes please. Truthfully, its the end of July. This could have been a Backyard Pagan Club and I still may have signed up.

All week my kids have been waking up so excited to go to Bible Club and they come home with a new scripture that they've memorized--oh sorry Bible verse. Shea is telling me the story of Nemiah and Jonah is singing "Jesus is a super hero."

Oh, and did I mention that these teens running the camp are trying to raise money for a foster home in China that houses orphans born with special needs. So my kids are also suddenly trying to do odd jobs around the house so that they can earn money to give to children who are much less fortunate. What nerds.

Now I consider myself a religious person with a religious family. But I have been taking my kids to church for three hours every Sunday since they were born and they have never once memorized a scripture at church. What am I doing wrong?

Come on kids! How can you think that singing "Jesus is a Super Hero" is fun and you don't like singing, "Pioneer Children Sang as They Walked and Walked and Walked and Walked?"

Is it the lack of percussion in the music? Must be. It's a good thing these people don't feel strangely drawn to illegal fireworks Napoleon Dynamite humor or we might be in real trouble.

P.S Wizzy, remember in 6th grade when that new boy teacher came to the school and insisted that you be called by your real name Elizabeth and we were all like, "What for? Her name is Wizzy?" and the teacher was all, "Because "wizzy" is what a dog does to a bush. " Well, if you had forgotten, sorry to remind you. Man, that guy was a jerk. Lucky for him he was a teacher in the 80's before the time of tolerance and law suits.


Shlepn7 said...

You make me laugh.

Anonymous said...

This post is HILARIOUS. Almost as funny as your conversation with your dad one(I think it was one of your first posts).

Ada Bowler said...

Angela, vacation bible school sounds hilarious. Sadie went to a Baptist pre-school (the only pre school in Alexandria that your kid could go to without having to join their church) and boy, did she come home with some funny stories.

And I just read your Community Service post and laughed so hard, I about fell of my chair! And, btw, we moved away from VA to a different planet called Springville, Ut.

HayesFamily said...

Ummm--yeah, I discovered the VBS gem my first year in Charlotte. Now that I'm back in Utah, I keep asking everyone where I can get some VBS aka "time-off"

You should have been to C and H's preschool...some of the songs they sang included: "Happy Birthday Jesus," "Splish Splash, it's a Bible Bash" "God is my Buddy" etc.

Nathan & Michelle Watabe said...

I don't know if you saw on my blog that Harrison went to VBS too. I'm glad to know I'm not the only mom who sends their child to a religious program that isn't their own just for a break! But I too was happy with most of what he learned! He still knows the main points from each day!

alexandra said...


Do they take 11-year-olds, too?

And maybe we can get Shea and Eliza to teach us some of those songs in Primary?

Brindley Family est. 1997 said...

You don't know me but i know your sis-in-law, Catherine. I just wanted to tell you that I absolutely love your blog and bust out laughing everytime I read a post. Thanks for finding the humor in most everything!!!

Anonymous said...

Ang, tell Heather that the church on 33rd S and 23rd East has their VBS starting tomorrow! 9 -noon. I laughed so hard when I read about it in the paper yesterday. Sadly, it's taking away my fav. babysitter for a week since she's going to be helping out there.

The Watkins said...

Reading this makes me sad that I'm going to miss you this summer...maybe I'll come home from my trip a day early just to see you.

Tiffany said...

Okay, I live in the middle of a VERY active Baptist community (I know, surprise on the heathen planet known as Southern California) and have yet to utilize this VBS resource! (When we first moved here I thought it sounded like an STD). . .
I sent my oldest to the BEST Jewish preschool when we lived in Chicago; she's all good on the Old Testament! (But no scriptures :)) Your blog is the BEST!

Janelle said...

Mr. Volmar!😈