Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Costco: A Microcosm of My Country.

Do you ever feel like Costco symbolizes everything that's great about America? 
  1. Everything's Big.
  2. Losta people but plenty of space.
  3. Our Costco draws a diverse and (dare I say the word?) multicultural crowd-- but all are welcome. Think all these types of people would be welcome at Whole Foods? Bring me your tired, your worn your spent, your weary, and I will give them $10 pizza and a huge pack of sharpies in every color. 
 4. Don't like it? Bring it back and get something better--just like democracy baby. Haven't you heard? Change is awesome? Especially when your kids break your Costco purchased Guitar Hero after one day.
 5. You can always hold your head high. I might be embarrassed to buy 9 pregnancy tests at once if I were at Safeway, but at Costco, I don't care because the old 90 pound Vietnamese man in front of me has 12 boxes of maxi-pads and 9 bags of onions.
 6. And finally, you just have to respect the sheer quantity of food. Everyone talks about America's obesity problem like its a bad thing. It may be unhealthy, but overeating is just part of being human. You haven't lived until you've eaten half of one of those chocolate cakes all by yourself honey. You know the one I'm talkin' about.

This list could go on forever. I think I'll have to revisit this one.


Shlepn7 said...

Thanks for making my day. That was hilarious and 100% spot on true.

Camilla said...

what about how much we all love free stuff and all the old people and children holding us back from the free samples.
I just got back from costco and I almost got hit by two grocery carts, seriously.

Cara said...

I love costco. I think Elliot was in the Ram suit. I don't think it usually is supposed to be that tight, Elliot was just too strong. Jackson would like to echo your, "East sucks."

Lara said...

Oh good! Now I can claim patriotism when I admit that I broke Adam's foot a couple of years ago by running over it with a full Costco cart!

Molly said...

man i love that chocolate cake.

Molly said...

man camilla you are a downer today.

Molly said...

i must like to say "man"

Sarah said...

I like every excuse to buy the Costco All American Chocolate Cake!