Friday, January 30, 2009

Why was metallic spandex invented again? Oh yeah, now I remember.


The ultimate Yo Gabba Gabba clip. Go to ITunes and buy the "Scary" episode. Best $1.99 ever spent. I've decided that it is much more satisfying to watch the show as an adult than as a child.

I have been looking for this on you-tube ever since I caught my kids watching it. 

Seriously- if you don't pee your pants, I am not your friend anymore. But then again if you don't pee your pants every once in a while I don't really want to be your friend anyway.



Uh, gotta go, My socks are wet.

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Happy Birthday


I can't believe it! I posted pictures of all the cakes but I forgot to tell you whose birthday it was.




It's been a year already and it seems like I've had my baby forever. I can't imagine my life without her. She is so smart. I love the noises she makes and her cute little tricks. Everyone loves to oooh and ahhh over her and wants to hold her whenever I bring her with me (which is always-- I can't bear to leave her at home.) I learn something from her every day, she really makes me want to be a better person. She has blessed my life in so many ways.
 



She is really the most beautiful little thing I have.







Happy Birthday baby.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Me? Jealous? Nooooooo

Can you believe my good friend Anon. said that my blog has a "jealous attitude?" I was very impressed and surprised by the comment. I was impressed that someone could write something so eloquent and yet so douchey at the same time. Serious skills. I was surprised because I have never been thought of as a jealous person. I mean, look at these pictures of the birthday cakes I made over the weekend. With talent like mine, what in the world would I ever have to be jealous about? 

Some people call these cakes. 
I call them culinary and decorative perfection. (Obviously it's a bear)





Yes, I did do these myself.  
No, I am not a professional (decorator and photographer.) 
And Yes, that is the entire  $9 bottle of Martha Stewart 4th of July sprinkles on top of the cake. 




These cakes remind me of my new favorite find.  The Cake Wrecks Blog that the "Stringham Conspiracy" introduced me to. I go there whenever I am having a bad day. And also whenever I am hungry.

Friday, January 23, 2009

The only thing more pathetic than The Bachelor

Is a single dad bachelor who goes out on a date with a single mom bachelorette. (Nothing against single moms and dads, just don't go on the show.)



This was my most excruciating TV moment of the past week, and I watch A LOT of TV so that's sayin' somethin'. You don't have to be a Bachelor fan (or non-fan) to enjoy the painfulness of this. 

The creepiness of the woman is off the charts. Don't watch all ten minutes of this unless you want your face to light on fire, 3-5 minutes should be sufficient

Have you ever seen Problem Child 2? What am I thinking, of course you have! You can probably guess what I'm about to say. "Stephanie" totally reminds me of  the "problem child's" step mom"TaWanda." 

Thank you mother, for never getting botox and then going all psycho lovey on me in public. One less therapy visit for me. Wahoo!

You'll Never Guess Who This Is

Joaquin Freaking Phoenix!!!

First clip he raps. Second clip he falls off the stage.



So we got, Gangsta Rap, Glamour Rap, Hustler Rap (I could go on.) Sorry J-dawg, I don't think Homeless Rap is gonna catch on.
 
Peter you will be happy to know that my crush on Joaquin has come to a premature end.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

50 Most Conservative Songs

  Yesterday was Inauguration. I made my kids watch the ceremony and celebrated with tears in my eyes as I watched such a historic moment. I felt so great, not even the crap sandwich recited by "poet" Elizabeth Alexander could get me down. What a great morning for our country. 
  But later, last night. While it was fun watching the neighborhood celebrity love fest and listening to all the starlets pat themselves on the back for being "people" people-- let me tell you what I was listening to.
   I was listening to the top 50 most conservative songs of all time and trying to figure out how the Republican Party is going to rebuild itself. The playlist is courtesy of John J. Miller from NR and his article is worth reading. 

Here is the link

50. "Stand By Your Man" by Tammy Wynette.

49. "Abortion," by Kid Rock.

48. "Why Don't You Get a job," By The Offspring.

47. "One," by Creed.

46. "Wind of Change." by the Scorpions.

45. "Taxman, Mr. Thief" by Cheap Trick.

44. "Two Sisters," by the Kinks.

43. "Wonderful," by Everclear.

42. "Everybody's a Victim," by the Proclaimers.

41. "The Icicle Melts," by The Cranberries.

40. "Wake Up Little Susie," by The Everly Brothers.

39. "Property Line," by The Marshall Tucker Band.

38. "I can't Drive 55," by Sammy Hagar

37. "The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down," by The Band

36. "Government Cheese," by The Rainmakers

35. "Who'll Stop the Rain," By Creedence Clearwater Revival.

34. "Godzilla," by Blue Oyster Cult.

33. "You Can't Always Get What You Want," by The Rolling Stones.

32. "Keep Your Hands to Yourself," by The Georgia Satellites.

31. "Small Town," by John Mellencamp.

30. "You Can't Be Too Strong," by Graham Parker.

29. "Rime of the Ancient Mariner," by Iron Maiden.

28. "Janie's Got a Gun," by Aerosmith.

27. "Obvious Song, " by Joe Jackson.

26. "Capitalism," by Oingo Boingo

25. "The Battle of Evermore," by Led Zeppelin.

24."Der Kommissar," by After the Fire.

23. "Brick," by Ben Folds Five.

22. "Red Barchetta," by Rush

21. "Heroes," by David Bowie.

20. "Rock the Casbah," by The Clash.

19. "Kicks," by Paul Revere and the Raiders.

18. "Cult of Personality," by Living Colour.

17. "Stay Together for the Kids," by Blink 182.

16. "Get Over It," by The Eagles.

15. "I Fought the Law," by The Crickets.

14. "Right Here, Right Now," by Jesus Jones.

13. "My City Was Gone," by The Pretenders.

12. "Neighborhood Bully," by Bob Dylan.

11. "The Trees," by Rush.

10. "20th Century Man," by The Kinks.

9. "Don't Tread on Me," by Metallica.

8. "Bodies," by The Sex Pistols

7. "Revolution," by The Beatles.

6. "Gloria," by U2

5. "Wouldn't It be Nice," by The Beach Boys.

4. "Sweet Home Alabama," by Lynyrd Skynyrd.

3. "Sympathy for the Devil," by The Rolling Stones.

2. "Taxman," by The Beatles.

1. "Won't Get Fooled Again," by The Who.

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Just One Problem

This is the best product I've seen in a long time.

Will you puh-lease do what I did today? Go this website and spend about 90 minutes there.


No major editorials about Utah/SoCal women necessary.


It reminds me of when I used to sit behind Suzette the Y cheerleader in college. Best hair ever. If only she could have used to powers for good instead of evil.


There is only one thing that the brilliant bumpit creators have overlooked.

What if you're ugly?

Thursday, January 15, 2009

International Night '09

 At the end of every year, when my kids' school lets out for the Winter break. I always end up feeling a little frustrated by the school's policy on holidays, celebrations and fun in general. While the county is happy to "recognize" every holiday, they are scared to death to celebrate anything. 

  If you celebrate a holiday that isn't on this list, I'll flip.

 My point is, every January, just when I'm feeling bitter and defensively patriotic; our International Night rolls around. Now there are kids from about fifty countries in the school and part of the evening consists of a fashion show. So I get all huffy and I find myself saying words I hate, "It's the principle of the thing," about hundred times. And before my kids know it, they've been signed up for the International fashion show to represent Mormon Pioneers. I make them put on bonnets and aprons and march (or should I say walk and walk and walk) them to the school. "After all," I say, "It's International Night-- not Foreign Night, jeez." I pull into the parking lot feeling very smug until I walk through the school doors. And then I see kids like this.

 And I feel like such a jerk.
From right to left, see if you can pick out Somalia, Afghanistan, Phillipenes, Vietnam.


My love for India intensifies. Cricket player on the left-- how cute is that?




This New Zealand boy reminded me of high school--white kid who won't quit doing the Ka Mate haka.




 Somalian girls are even cuter in focus.



There were so many kids, we needed two different fashion shows. And keep in mind these are actual children from different countries, not kids whose parents just went there and brought back cool costumes.

(Let me just say again (because every time I put pictures up, there is a lot of confusion) that I really am not a professional photographer. It is just a passion I swear. Hard to believe, I know.)

I went home from International Night feeling a different sort of Patriotism-- not the smug kind.

Sunday, January 11, 2009

I know it's only Sunday . . .

But it's time to start thinking about your upcoming weekend. I don't care what your plans are, cancel them and go see Slumdog Millionaire. Its that good.








P.S.  My affection for Indians just turned into an obsession. I will definitely be playing plenty of M.I.A. (download her now, you're welcome) in my spinning class tomorrow.

Friday, January 9, 2009

BEST HUSBAND EVER!!!!!!

So, I've been seeing a lot of blragging  (it's a word I made up: blogging + bragging, I think it'll catch on) lately about handy husbands. 

Husband puts addition on house.

Husband fixes washing machine.

Husband finishes basement.

Well blrag all you want, I have a little blragging of my own to do. 

Looky what Pete did.








Prrre-t-y impressive I know. I do have to give credit where it's due though. He had the help of two other guys (his dad and brother-in-law.) 

The most astounding thing though. The (unused)assembly instructions labeled the various parts with words like; nipple, shaft, and screw. And I only heard the Michael Scott-esque, "That's what she said," once. 


Tuesday, January 6, 2009

I've been thinking

  I know the holidays are over, but Pete just reminded me of the number one reason why I like snow at Christmas. It's because snow is a flame retardant coating for the front lawn. Dad, do you remember that one time a couple days after Christmas, we were sitting around thinking about what to do with the tree? Well I don't know which awesome person came up with idea but  a couple a minutes later, the tree was in our snowy front lawn and we were all laughing and  pouring gasoline all over that mother. 

Tree + Gas + A Lit Match+ Love= 
THE BEST CHRISTMAS EVER

I haven't tried it on the East Coast for obvious weather related reasons. But I live in a townhouse and I have a family of Koreans to my left and a couple of angry Philadelphians who love to call the cops on my right. So I'm guessing that the results would be doubly rewarding. 

Sunday, January 4, 2009

Christmas Card

Thought you might like to see my Christmas card this year. 

Not the masterpiece of '07 which earned us a spot on NPR. ( Listen Here. We are mentioned about 2:35 into the piece. Shameless and awesome at the same time.) But still prre-t-y prre-t-y good right?


Sorry, you'll have to click on the page if  you want to be able to read it. 





Writing the card was very cathartic, as I spent a lot of '08 repressing certain emotions towards a certain spouse. (Wait, strike that last sentence. I hate psycho talk)