Thursday, December 18, 2008

Star Wars: The Musical story

I can't think of a worse idea for a musical.

On second thought, I bet I could think of a couple.

Let's see. mmmm. I've got it.

"Papa Pia"
A musical love story written to the music of the genius Rod Stewart (there is nothing I'd rather do than listen to Rod Stewart for Two hours.)

A story about the tragic Tsunami set to the music of Bananarama.

Hmm, I'll keep thinking.

Speaking of musicals, I was a bit of a theater-ista in my junior high days. I seriously had a lot of potential. A lot of people said that I reminded them of that girl on Savannah Smiles. (What can I say?) 

I had a mad crush on my drama teacher until he cast me as a munchkin/oz person in the Wizard of Oz. He sort of reminded me of Mr. G (see below)

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

My town can beat up your town

Remember my Halloween house? Well I must give credit where credit is due. We found that little gem at the tacky Christmas tree lights of Northern Virginia website.  Now I know your fun city that you love (but didn't necessarily choose to live in but that's where your hub got into grad school so you have to let us know how awesome it is) has a pumpkin patch, and like the best fireworks evah. But do you have lights as awesome as these?

We used to go see the Temple lights but we got tired of all the walking and sometimes live Nativities make me uncomfortable okay? So this tradition is much more my style. We take a tour to see the tacky Christmas tree lights of Northern Virgnina and then go to the sketchy Krispy Kreme in Alexandria. Here are our two favorite houses.


The picture doesn't really do this one justice. But the property is huge and they give a full on light show. Tune your radio to 88.1 and the lights are perfectly synchronized with the Christmas music that plays. It's like 23 minutes of entertainment.

Okay, here's the big enchilada.

Wait for it.

Wait for it.

Is there even a house in there?

A close up. $2g electric bill (I like to say g instead of thousand because it's gangsta)

the yard

A close up of the roof. 

We told the home owner it looked great and he said, "Come back next week and it'll be done."
I love it.

I dare you to top that.

Monday, December 15, 2008

New Rule for Peter

From now on, you are only allowed to have 50 pairs of socks in your drawer at a time. These are the ones I am throwing out. 
I'll let the Rocky and Bullwinkle socks stay on one condition. Stop wearing them to bed!

Thursday, December 11, 2008


Okay, there are two kinds of places in this country. Places where people pay attention to the weather reports, and places where people don't. 
Take for example Utah, where my ruts are. Why in the world do you need the weather report? Summer: it is either hot, or not that hot.  Winter: it will either snow today, or tomorrow. Fall: it's colder than it should be but whatever. And Spring: the forecast is that just when the sun comes out and I think I'll get a break from my seasonal affective disorder, BAM, another snowstorm. 
Ol' Virginy on the other hand is quite a different story. People listen to the weather (wait for it, wait for it-- you guessed it) religiously. There is a heat index, a humidity index. Rain, Fog, sleet, snow, tornadoes, everything you can think of. The wintry mix is my personal favorite. I thought just one guy made it up but it is a real weather term.

Once I was in Utah in December and my teen brother came into the room wearing shorts. At this point I had become a full fledged classy but condescending East coasterner. So I said, "Dallin, it's freezing outside, why are you wearing shorts?" Dallin looked at me like I was some kind of moron and said, "It's freezing and it's December, why would I ever want to go outside?" And that's when I realized something,  Dallin was wise and cool beyond his years. 

Oh wait, I wasn't going to talk about weather, I wanted to talk about traffic. I was telling some people about this traffic report. I think Stacey gave it to me. Listen to it. It'll make your day.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Thanks Camilla

I found this on Camilla's blog. It's a train wreck that I can't stop watching.  

I have only seen reactions this horrific two other times in my life. 

The first was from my ward in sacrament meeting when I was called to be the primary president.

And the second was from me the day I found out that Skippy was discontinuing their honey roasted crunchy peanut butter. 

Monday, December 8, 2008

Word of the Day

I can't decide if I think this word is funny or dirty. Say it over and over again and you'll see what I mean.

Saturday, December 6, 2008

I'm suppossed to be blogging about Twilight right?


Just read the book.

After reading this brilliant review.

I ran to see the movie as fast as my little (and by little I mean rock hard) legs could carry me.

Then I thought..

What a massacre.

But then I got an idea. I am going to make my own Twilight movie. Sort of an adaptation though. I'll call it "Twilight Down Under-- an Animal Vampire Love Story" (it's a working title).

So I've been doing a lot of research trying to cast my movie. Let me run some ideas by you.

Jacob: played by dingo (too easy).

Bella: played by Koala

But who could play Edward? Who who who?


Kangaroo of course! The only problem is that Kangaroo doesn't like things on his back (as Peter and Sloane discovered. I'll have to re-write a few scenes and put Bella in Edward's pouch. Boy kangaroos have pouches right?)

But something about this Kangaroo didn't seem quite right for the part. 

I couldn't quite put my finger on it.

Until I saw this guy.

An albino Kangaroo? What the..
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Edward.

Paramount and Fox studios-- I just dare you to pass on this one.