1. Did your child learn to read before kindergarten?
2. Does your child wear only Gymboree clothing?
3. Do you read to your child every night?
4. Do you take your children to Disneyworld at least once a year?
5. Are your children incapable of fighting?
6 Do you have endless amounts of patience?
7. Do your daughters have bows in their hair at all times?
8. Do your daughters attend cheer camp?
9. Do your sons wear "future missionary" name tags?
10. Did you nurse for at least a year?
11. Have all of your children met all of the age appropriate developmental benchmarks?
Did I answer yes to all 11 questions?
Does Kanye have too many sweater vests?
Seriously though, if you answered yes to all of these questions. Then you are not as much a great mom as you are a ticking time bomb.
There is only one question you need to ask yourself if you want to know whether or not you are as good a mom as I am.
Can your kids make it to the toilet when they puke?
even the four year old.
They're barfing their guts out.
And they make it every time.
Every single time.