Thursday, August 28, 2008

My new least favorite thing.

I used to watch Oprah like all the time. I laughed when she told that hilarious story about Stedman, I cried when she built the school in Africa, I sighed when she had Brad Pitt on the show. I cried again when she did all those stories about people who hoard things. I cried again when she gave away all those cars,  did the story about cheaters, and the one about eating disorders. I cried during all of the "favorite things" episodes (except the "favorite things" show where all the guests were teachers, then I just shook my fist with jealous anger-- what have teachers ever done for us?--I should be a guest just for having to listen to them complain)
But then something happened. I don't know what it was. Maybe I realized that every time she walks towards a guest and grabs both their hands and shakes them in the air London Bridge style, she is really just trying to avoid a hug. 
Here's the thing, Oprah is full of crap. I know that you love her, and she makes you feel good, but you need to stop watching it. 
Listen to what she said yesterday and just think about it. I know you are going to say, "if you hate her sooo bad why were you watching yesterday?" and I don't have an answer to that but here me out. According to "O"

If a couple increased their sexual activity from once a month to once a week, their increase in happiness would be as much as if the were to recieve a 50,000  raise.

There are so many things wrong with that statement. First of all, how do you come up with a statistic like that? And second, coming from someone who recently received a similar raise...... Well you know where I'm headed.

Look you can do what ever you want with your time. Just don't turn to Oprah for your main 
source of information and then pretend to be well informed. You'll get burned ever time.

Trust me on this one.


Ashby said...

Amen! I hate Oprah, then again I'm one of those crazy conservatives that hates anyone who associates with the likes of Obama.

HayesFamily said...

I've always hated Oprah. Really. It's amazing those nuggets of wisdom she has on every subject, especially the ones she has no experience with: marriage, parenting, psychology...don't get me started