It seemed like a good idea at the time

Sorry for the crappy pictures, can you tell what's going on?

Neither can I.

But there is a guy at my gym right now. Dressed like a waiter, passing out free samples of finger food on a tray. I said gym not cocktail party. There were three other guys just like him walking around offering food to people on fancy trays. My Costco sample instincts kicked in and I downed two mini protein shakes, some cliff bars and a quinoa salad before I realized that I was eating food with my hands in the middle of a gym.

And we are all wondering why H1N1 is spreading so fast.

Why would I go to a gym when I can lick pennies in the privacy of my own home?

Gilly

I have a super cool brother who lives in Australia, and he has a friend named Gilly.

Here's what we think of when we hear the name Gilly here in America.

Saturday Night Live - Gilly - Science Fair

Saturday Night Live|MySpace Videos

Let me know if you can't view this down undah.

I just realized that if you are an old lady like me and you have a teenage brother and you call him super cool, it doesn't actually send the message that he is super cool. You're just gonna have to trust me on this one.

Yeah You!

I was driving home yesterday and this guy honked, cut me off and flipped me off. And you know what? It was impossible to get mad. I mean, someone who drives a lime green truck with the words "doody calls" written all over it, might have had a bad day. He's lucky in a way, everyone that crosses his path knows pretty much that the odds are against him.

Movies: Theater 2: Angela 0

Last weekend, I needed a night out and and had friends to join me. I really really wanted to see Fame. I had a TV crush on Karrington from SYTYCD and a hankerin' for a really good chopped salad. It seemed like nothing could go wrong.

Darn.

Whoever had made my salad had taken some kind of culinary liberty and added basil.

Did you ever notice that Karrington has like huge bugs bunny teeth and can't act? And as for the movie itself. Well, I knew it wasn't gonna blow my mind, but I was hoping for a trip down memory lane.

See when I was in high school I spent my sophomore year at Chapel Hill High School (North Carolina) where I was in the best choir that ever existed. Picture the show Glee, set in the South. So within the group we had the cheerleaders and the football players, but we also had southern debutantes, and this huge gospel choir contingency. There were about 150 of us and we totally sang and danced to the song Fame. I mean like a choreographed dancing performance of Fame. We were good. Really good. And the black kids I met and made friends with in that choir more than made up for the fact that there was a different set of black kids who wouldn't let me sit down on the bus. An entire year of standing up in the center of the bus, the whole ride home while they laughed and flicked pennies at me. Apparently wearing only Duke paraphernalia and Gap clothes, and not being able to tolerate humidity made me a bit of a target. Who knew? I would have killed in Orem that's for sure.

Long story short, this movie is going down as a major disappointment of '09 for me. I was hoping to reminisce by watching really talented teens sing Fame, instead I watched mediocre talent with no charisma and there was just a crappy pop version of the song that played as the end credits rolled.

Movie Review

Check out my latest Wegmans find.

How cute is this baby pineapple?

I wanted to buy this pineapple mostly just 'cause I wanted it on my blog. I also thought it would be funny to also buy a big one and then tell my kids I was magic and could shrink food. I still may do that.

But then I saw where it came from.

And I was too afraid to buy it because I thought it might make me vomit black stuff and turn one of my hands into a giant alien claw. Have you even seen what the government will force you to do in Joh-berg if they find out that you have an alien claw?

This must be the first time in history that Rotten Tomatoes has been so off on its movie ratings. I don't mind a sad movie. A film with lotsa hand held camera work doesn't bother me. I'll sit through movies with bad plots and poor direction. And I really do pride myself on having good taste in movies. I think I've seen all most every genre of film that matters. I can tell you about Fellini, Kurosawa, and Satyajit Ray.

But I simply do not have time in my busy and important life to watch unsympathetic characters, gross aliens, and African thugs duke it out in South Africa. District 9 represents two hours of my life that was wasted. Trust me, it stinks.

Speaking of movies though. One of my absolute favorite favorite things to do is to go to a party where there is a big group of 25-35 year old guys. I casually bring up the topic of good and bad movies. And after people have been talking about it for a few minutes I like to say in a really loud voice, "I THINK THAT BRAVEHEART IS THE WORST MOVIE EVER MADE!" And then I just sit back and watch the fireworks. Seriously, it is hilarious. Ahhhhh, All the pleasure of insulting someone's mother and killing their kitten, but none of the guilt.

This Photo's Goin' on the Fridge

The picture that made my day

She may be going bald! This is the best news I've heard all week.

I think it's because my witch neighbor from New Jersey put a curse on her. She looses one hair for every 500 dumb things the says. I say she'll be wearing a wig, oh, by the end of the year.

Starring in My Own Reality TV Show: Do I Have a Shot?

I've been thinking about reality TV a lot lately. I mean a lot. I really didn't have any other options during the summer. And since my goal to get through Heart of Darkness didn't work out too well (all 80 pages, I know) I didn't really have anywhere else to turn.

So watching all these "real" people burn their 15 minutes, makes me wonder what separates me from them. I used to think that if you were average looking you wouldn't have a chance, but after seeing Jillian, I'm thinking that may not be the case. I also used to think that if you were really short or "just a mom," your chances weren't good either, but the TLC reality world has proven otherwise. Oh, and I thought that people with reality shows had lucid and coherent things to say-- oh wait I guess I never really thought that. Not since the Real World ONE. So I've made two separate lists of why I would and wouldn't make for a good reality personality.

Strikes Against Me

I don't really have a gay best friend that I can vent to.

I don't dye my hair. (That's not really a strike against me, I just wanted to mention it.)

I can't talk and drive, at least I shouldn't.

When I cry, it's always an ugly cry. Always.

In My Corner

I love talking about myself.

When I am talking about myself, I like to make really bad analogies to help illustrate my point.

I know how to surround myself with people who are dumber than I am, so that I look smart. (not any of you of course)

I am fully aware of the fact that I could make like 20k per episode. Dignity on the other hand, pays ZERO.

I think I'm gonna go for it. One thing I've learned from John and Kate, is that sometimes you gotta look out for number one. Those two know what I'm talking about. Fives all around.